The Dignity of Esau

Toledot
Genesis 25:19-28:9


Précis: The introductory phrase to this parasha is “These are the generations (“toledot”) of Isaac.” What follows is the birth of the twins, Esau and Jacob. Details of their childhood are omitted from the narrative; we know that Jacob was a quiet man and that Esau was a cunning hunter, that their mother Rebecca preferred Jacob, and that Isaac preferred Esau. We then have the story of the sale of the birthright by Esau to Jacob for a bowl of porridge. A famine takes place, and Isaac journeys to the land of the Philistines where he claims that his wife Rebecca is actually his sister (as Abraham did with Sarah in Lech Lecha) and again, the woman escapes unharmed. The story then turns to the “great deception” where Jacob pretends to be Esau in order to obtain the primary blessing from his father Isaac. Esau hates Jacob and threatens him; Rebecca urges Jacob to escape to her family in Haran, towards where he sets off at the conclusion of the parasha.

Genesis 25:34 "Jacob then gave Esau bread and lentil stew; and he ate, he drank, he got up, he went his way..."

In this week's parasha, Esau, in a rush of activity, returns home from hunting and demands "red stuff" (stew) from his bother. Jacob agrees, in return for the hereditary birthright.

Here is a thought: was Esau the first person with ADHD? Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurological and developmental disorder with a wide range of symptoms, often characterized by impulsivity, the need for instant gratification, an inability to focus, and difficulty recognizing and appropriately reacting to social cues. This verse displays a similar characterization of Esau. He is impulsive, he cannot wait to have his hunger gratified. We have four, rapid-fire verbs in a row: he ate, he drank, he arose, he went his way. The verbs are suggestive in their physicality, and are characteristic of those who suffer from ADHD.

The rabbis claim that Esau was a person with serious character defects (incidentally, a charge often leveled at those with ADHD) and did not deserve the birthright. They opine that Esau's flaws justify Jacob’s trickery. On reflection, this may be unfair to Esau. After all, even at birth, Jacob tried to "steal" the first born status, by grasping at Esau's heel. Was this any fault of Esau's? Hardly. Esau was a good son, providing his farther with food, and is loved by his father (a man with serious father/son conflicts in his own past). Esau is distressed when he realizes that the birthright and blessing have been lost. Many years later, when the brothers reunite, he greets Jacob warmly, in a forgiving manner, despite Jacob's apparent hostility.

We have been slow to accept the reality of ADHD as a legitimate medical condition. All too often, we think of impulsivity or lack of attention as “kids being kids” or part of “normal growing up.” On the other hand, many of us have family members who face the challenge of ADHD and the continuing problems it poses throughout life. It is not something to be casually dismissed.

This parasha gives us an opportunity to consider this disability in a Jewish context. The text suggests that Isaac was aware of Esau’s infirmity when he tells Esau to “get your gear, your quiver, your bow…go into the field.…hunt for me…prepare it for me…and bring it to me.” (Gen. 27 2-4). Isaac provides specific, detailed instructions to his son, in a loving way, to help him succeed, which is exactly what parents of kids with ADHD are taught to do today.

Some of us, and some of our friends and family, seem to succeed easily. Others face steeper challenges. Jewish ethical tradition demands that we treat those with infirmities with care, and with dignity. This text is a reminder that we need to show compassion to those who do not easily achieve “normative” standards of success, and to continually seek ways to bring even hidden capabilities to the forefront within a Jewish context.