Friday, November 15, 2013

Facing One's Fears

Vayishlach
Genesis 32:4 - 36:43

PrĂ©cis: As he nears his return to his homeland, Jacob sent (vayishlach) messengers to Esau to ascertain Esau’s state of mind after their 20 year separation. While he awaits a reply, Jacob encounters an “adversary” (most assume an angel) with whom Jacob wrestles through the night. As dawn breaks, the adversary announces that Jacob’s name is to be changed to Israel: “He who wrestles with God.” On the following day, Esau approaches, and despite Jacob’s fears, there is a happy reunion.
               We then read the story of how a local prince rapes Dinah, Jacob’s daughter, and then asks to marry her. Jacob agrees on condition that all of the men of the city are circumcised. While the men are recovering, Jacob’s sons Simon and Levi attack the city and kill all of the inhabitants in revenge for the insult to their sister.
               Jacob soon travels to Beth-el (the site of his ladder dream), and on the way, Rachel gives birth to Benjamin and dies following her labor. Thereafter, Isaac’s death is noted, as is his burial by Esau and Jacob. The parasha ends with a genealogy of Esau and his descendants.

Gen. 32:8 “Jacob was greatly frightened; in his anxiety, he divided the people with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps.”

Our Jewish texts teach us about the dangers of assuming that others have an evil intent, and acting according to our assumption.  Abraham assumes Pharaoh will steal Sarah (Genesis 12:11−20) and endangers his wife by allowing her to be placed in Pharaoh’s harem. Joseph’s brothers assume that he will exact revenge against them after he reveals his true identity to them (Genesis 50:15−21). In this parasha, Jacob assumes that Esau will attack him upon their reunion after a twenty year separation, and takes elaborate steps to avoid that anticipated outcome. However, Esau greets Jacob with warmth and tears.
               Jacob had spent much of his life running away from his brother Esau (who, after all, had threatened to kill him). Esau was a “man of the field” and impulsive (e.g., the story or the red stew and the sale of his birthright). But impulsive people live in the moment; they may forget their threats. Here, it appears that Jacob suffers one of the punishments of the Torah’s Tochacha (“Admonition”) [“You shall flee though none pursues” (Lev.26:17)].
               I ask a question: how frequently do we assume the worst in others, and take actions accordingly?  Do we separate ourselves from others – fellow congregants, friends, or family members - because we project our fears onto them and then assume that they will react in a way which we assume will be difficult or dangerous or painful? Do we “flee” without pursuit?

               Facing those whose reactions we fear takes strength. Jacob dithered, but eventually had the courage to face Esau. Things turned out well. May the same be true with each of us.