Vayetze
Gen. 28:10-33:3
Précis: As Jacob travels towards the household of his uncle Laban, he dreams of a ladder (some translate it as a ramp) to heaven, with angels ascending and descending. He vows to build a great House for God on the spot. Jacob meets and falls in love with Laban’s younger daughter, Rachel. Laban agrees to the match, provided that Jacob works for him for seven years. Laban switches the older daughter, Leah, for Rachel; Jacob works an additional seven years for Rachel’s hand. Jacob then works for Laban another six years, and acquires great wealth and flocks through shrewd husbandry. During the stay with Laban, most of the children of Jacob are born. At the conclusion of the parasha, after tense negotiations with Laban, Jacob leaves with his possessions and family.
Gen. 28:10 “And Jacob left.”
Jacob flees home after Esau threatens to kill him for usurping the blessing from their father Isaac. Jacob leaves behind him a father he has deceived (earning him the name “Trickster.”) He also leaves behind his beloved mother, who has orchestrated the blessing, has warned him of Esau’s intent, and has sent him to her kin in Haran for safety. Should we assume that Jacob was running away out of fear, or because he was following his mother’s orders? Some of the Sages suggest that Jacob was following the dictates of the 5th Commandment to obey his mother.
The commandment to obey (or honor) is clear, but exactly how we are to do it is left unstated in our text. The Talmud, on the other hand, offers great detail in the “how to” of observing this mitzvah, including the requirement that a child provide the parents with food, shelter, and clothing if required, but most of all, with respect and dignity.
Some of us find ourselves as part of the “sandwich generation,” when we still have responsibilities for children and now have assumed more responsibilities for our older parents. While many see this as a trial (as it certainly can be at times), we might see this as a pair of blessings: not only are we blessed with the continuing presence of our parents, but we are also blessed with the opportunity to continue to observe the mitzvah of honoring them. With the blessing of long life comes added complexity for those of us with surviving elderly parents. How can we see to their needs while respecting their dignity? Perhaps we can find solace in our tradition which stresses the importance of seeing to the needs of those who brought us into this world.
