Va'ethanan
Deuteronomy 3:23 - 7:11
PrĂ©cis: Moses continues the recapitulation of travels, and urges the People to follow the laws and commandments of Adonai. Moses pleads with God that he be allowed to enter the Promised Land, and is refused. Moses reminds the people that God was angry with him on account of their sinful ways, and therefore was refused permission to enter the Land. Moses continues with a restatement of the Ten Commandments, and follows with an articulation of the basic element of Jewish theology: the Sh’ma. Moses then warns the people against the perils of forgetfulness, particularly of the Exodus, and cautions against idol worship of gods of the nations they will conquer.
Deut. 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
In reviewing this verse, I decided to take a look at what Maimonides had to say about exactly how one is to go about observing this commandment. In Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Mamrim, Chapter 6, we find the following:
“1) Honoring one’s father and mother is a positive commandment of great importance, as is fearing one’s father and mother. The Torah equates this honor and fear with that of God Himself…
3) What is meant by fear and what is meant by honor? Fear [is expressed by] not standing in his place, not sitting in his place, not contradicting his words, not offering an opinion that outweighs him… What is meant by honoring them? One should bring them food and drink, clothe them and cover them from their own resources. If a father does not have financial resources and a son does, the son is compelled to sustain his father and mother according to his capacity…
7) To what degree does the mitzvah of honoring one’s parents extend? Even if one’s parent takes his gold and throws it into the sea in his presence, he should not embarrass them, shout, or vent anger at them…
10) When a person’s father or mother loses control of their mental faculties, their son should try to conduct this relationship with them according to their mental condition until God has mercy on them. If it is impossible to remain with them because they have become very deranged, he should leave them, depart, and charge others with caring for them in an appropriate manner.”
I find these excerpts to be amazingly thoughtful and current. It is a true testament to the mind of Rambam that what he expressed almost a millennium ago remains powerfully relevant today. For those of us in the so-called “sandwich generation” the guidance he offers is a manifestation of timeless thoughtfulness and consideration which underlies this ancient commandment.