On Rosh Hashanah and on Yom Kippur, the Hazzan chants a
special prayer immediately before the repetition of the Amidah in the Musaf
service, called “Hineni” in which the
Hazzan leader begs God to accept the leader’s role as spokesperson for the community,
the shaliach tzibur, even though the prayer
acknowledges the speaker as unworthy. It some congregations, the Hazzan begins
this chant from the rear of the sanctuary, walking slowly down the aisle
towards the bimah, often in a very still, quiet voice. The prayer begins:
“Here I stand, impoverished in merit,
trembling in Your Presence, pleading on behalf of Your People Israel even
though I am unfit and unworthy for the task.”
The word
itself, “Hineni” is one with powerful
echoes in the Bible. When God calls to Adam, he responds “Hineni.” When God calls to Abraham, he, too, responds “Hineni.”
When God calls to Moses, he responds “Hineni”
as well. It is more than “I am here.” It connotes “I am prepared to follow Your
will.”
When God
calls us to do important and difficult tasks on behalf of the community or the
Jewish people, the answer must be “Hineni.”
Here I am, here I stand, even though I may lack merit to represent anyone
beyond myself. Even when we merely assume the role of an active member of the
Jewish community, we again state “Here I am, Hineni.”
In either
case, however, we are obligated to must retain the humility expressed in the Hineni prayer, and remember our own
limitations.
And yet.
Yom Kippur means many things to many people, with its overt emphasis on fasting
and recounting one’s sins. Will we live or die? Will we prosper or face
challenges? I choose, however, to focus this year on “Hineni” and pledge to “be here” for those facing crises so much greater
than my own: to the orphan, the widow, the stranger, the aging neighbor, the
victim of natural disaster, of political retribution, of prejudice and
injustice. For them, as well as for ourselves, we say “Hineni.”
