In honor of my wife of 50 years

It is with great joy and gratitude that I prepared this d'var in honor of the 50th wedding anniversary this Shabbat to my wonderful wife Abby.

Re’eh

Deut. 11:26 - 16:17

 

Précis: Moses begins by quoting God, saying “Behold (re’eh), I set before you a blessing and a curse this day.” The blessing flows from observance of the laws and the curses result from violations. A concern with idolatry permeates the following verses. The parasha explains that there will be a single site for sacrifices. A test for a false prophet and the punishment of an idolatrous city are included. The parasha then shifts to other subjects: a prohibition against self-mutilation, the biblical basis of the laws of kashrut, tithing so that the needs are met for the Levites, the "stranger, the fatherless, and the widow.” Remission of debts, freeing of Hebrew slaves, and the dedication of firstborn cattle are discussed, as are the commandments for the observance of Passover, Shavuot, and Sukkot.

 

Deut. 11:26–28 “Behold I set before you a blessing and a curse this day; a blessing if you obey the commandment…and a curse, if you will not obey the commandments…”

            The Hebrew verbs are very important in this verse: “behold” (re’eh) is a singular verb, and the phrase “before you” (“lif’neichem”) is plural. We begin with the singular and end with the plural. According to the Talmud, the mitzvot were given to the Jews as a single group (hence the singular verb), but the phrase ends with a plural to remind us that each individual must decide whether to accept the blessing or the curse.

Accepting the “rules” is necessary for any organization. Putting the interests of the community above one’s own needs is essential for success.

The same is also true – in fact even more true - in a successful marriage. After 50 years of marriage to my wife Abby, we’ve learned one most important lesson: it is not what matters between us, but rather that we deal with all matters together. Marriage is not for the weak, but rather for the strong. It takes strength of character, strength of caring, and the ultimate strength of love to cede one’s wants and needs to maintain the glorious partnership we call marriage.

When we conclude the reading of a Book of the Torah, we chant “Hazak, Hazak, v’nitkazek.” This may be translated as “Be strong, be strong, and let us strengthen one another.” As Abby and I close the Book of the first 50 years of our marriage, so may it be with us.