Vayishlach
Genesis 32:4 - 36:43
Précis: As he nears his return to his homeland, Jacob sent (vayishlach) messengers to Esau to ascertain Esau’s state of mind after their 20+ year separation. While he awaits a reply, Jacob encounters an “adversary” (most assume an angel) with whom he wrestles through the night. As dawn breaks, the adversary announces that Jacob’s name is to be changed to Israel: “He who wrestles with God.” On the following day, Esau approaches, and despite Jacob’s fears, there is a happy reunion.
We then read the story of how a local prince rapes Dinah, Jacob’s daughter, and then asks to marry her. Jacob agrees on condition that all of the men of the city are circumcised. While the men are recovering, Jacob’s sons Simon and Levi attack the city and kill all of the inhabitants in revenge for the insult to their sister.
Jacob soon travels to Beth-el (the site of his ladder dream), and on the way, Rachel gives birth to Benjamin and dies following her labor. Thereafter, Isaac’s death is noted, as is his burial by Esau and Jacob. The parasha ends with a genealogy of Esau and his descendants.
Genesis 33:4 “And Esau ran to meet Jacob, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him; and they wept.”
After decades of contention and separation, Jacob and Esau reconcile. They may not be close, but they have found a modus vivendi, a way to coexist. What has changed? How can these two, who have been at odds since birth, embrace and weep together?
During childhood, they were rivals for their parent’s love and attention. They lusted for what the other possessed (Jacob wanted a birthright, Esau wanted Jacob’s porridge; we can safely assume that Esau longed for his mother’s approval with equal fervor to Jacob’s pursuit of a blessing from Isaac). When they meet after a 20 year separation, they have each become men of substance, wealth, and power. They no longer seem to want what the other has. The ritual offering and refusal of gifts which follows their reunion is more than Middle Eastern niceties; they no longer desire what the other possesses. The sin of envy they shared long ago has been replaced by a new contentment. They understand the statement of Pirke Avot: "Who is rich? One who is happy with his portion."
The story of Jacob and Esau is one about the power of reconciliation. Jacob’s fear that reconciliation was not possible evaporates in a mutual embrace and shared tears.
In recent weeks, we have seen another round of fighting between Hamas in Gaza and Israel. It’s not too far of a metaphor to compare the two to Esau and Jacob, since both sides claim Abraham as an ancestor. While Israel stands ready to reconcile as Jacob (Israel) was, Hamas is not able to come to terms with Israel in the way Esau did in our text. As PM Netanyahu was recently quoted, “If Hamas puts down their weapons, there will be peace; if Israel puts down its weapons, there will be no Israel.”
On a more personal level, we often fear attempts to reconcile, perhaps because of another fear: the fear of being rejected once again. Yet, when we find the inner strength to ask for forgiveness from another, we may be surprised when our feelings are reciprocated by those we have wronged.
