Facing Fear

Vayishlach

Gen. 32:4 - 36:43

Précis: As he nears his return to his homeland, Jacob sent (vayishlach) messengers to Esau to ascertain Esau’s state of mind after their 20 year separation. While he awaits a reply, Jacob encounters an “adversary” (most assume an angel) with whom Jacob wrestles through the night. As dawn breaks, the adversary announces that Jacob’s name is to be changed to Israel: “He who wrestles with God.” On the following day, Esau approaches, and despite Jacob’s fears, there is a happy reunion.

            We then read the story of how a local prince rapes Dinah, Jacob’s daughter, and then asks to marry her. Jacob agrees on condition that all of the men of the city are circumcised. While the men are recovering, Jacob’s sons Simon and Levi attack the city and kill all of the inhabitants in revenge for the insult to their sister.

           Jacob soon travels to Beth-el (the site of his ladder dream), and on the way, Rachel gives birth to Benjamin and dies in childbirth. Thereafter, Isaac’s death is noted, as is his burial by Esau and Jacob. The parasha ends with a genealogy of Esau and his descendants.

Gen. 32:8 “Jacob was greatly frightened; in his anxiety, he divided the people with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps.”

            In his “Short, practical, relevant Weekly Dvar” (11/27/15) Shlomo Ressler poses the question of why Jacob was “greatly frightened.” After all, he had been promised by God that he, Jacob, would return safely to Canaan (Gen. 28:15). Does Jacob’s fear reflect a lack of trust in God’s promise?

            Ressler cites Abrabanel who states that fear is a not sign of weakness, but rather a part of being a human being. One who is afraid should not be judged harshly. After all, whom among us has never been afraid?

            For some in America today, there is real fear about what lies ahead for America and the world. The question is what do we do when we're afraid? Do we become immobilized, or do we gather ourselves to meet the challenges that lie ahead? Jacob’s great strength was that he was prepared and able to act despite his fear (which some would call the definition of heroism). What concrete steps can be taken by those of us who question America's way ahead as espioused by the incoming administration? I suggest that supporting organizations such as the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the Sierra Club is one important opportunity. Speaking out in “main stream” media as well as social media is another chance to act in the face of fear.

            Rav Nahman of Bratslav once said, "the whole world is a very narrow bridge, but the main thing is not to be afraid at all." Jacob’s actions teach us that when we are afraid, we have the opportunity to gather our strength and conquer our fears by confronting them. As Ressler suggests, “we won't act afraid, because we won't be afraid to act.”

Sandwich?

Vayetze

Gen. 28:10-33:3

Précis: As Jacob travels towards the household of his uncle Laban, he dreams of a ladder (some translate it as a ramp) to heaven, with angels ascending and descending. He vows to build a great House for God on the spot. Jacob meets and falls in love with Laban’s younger daughter, Rachel. Laban agrees to the match, provided that Jacob works for him for seven years. Laban switches the older daughter, Leah, for Rachel; Jacob works an additional seven years for Rachel’s hand. Jacob then works for Laban another six years, and acquires great wealth and flocks through shrewd husbandry. During the stay with Laban, most of the children of Jacob are born. At the conclusion of the parasha, after tense negotiations with Laban, Jacob leaves with his possessions and family.

Gen. 28:10 “And Jacob left.” 

            Jacob flees home after Esau threatens to kill him for usurping the blessing from their father Isaac. Jacob leaves behind him a father he has deceived (earning him the name “Trickster.”) He also leaves behind his beloved mother, who has orchestrated the blessing, has warned him of Esau’s intent, and has sent him to her kin in Haran for safety. Should we assume that Jacob was running away out of fear, or because he was following his mother’s orders? Some of the Sages suggest that Jacob was following the dictates of the 5^th Commandment to obey his mother.

            The commandment to obey (or honor) is clear, but exactly how we are to do it is left unstated in our text. The Talmud, on the other hand, offers great detail in the “how to” of observing this mitzvah, including the requirement that a child provide the parents with food, shelter, and clothing if required, but most of all, with respect and dignity.  

            Some of us find ourselves as part of the “sandwich generation,” when we still have responsibilities for children and now have assumed more responsibilities for our older parents. While many see this as a trial (as it certainly can be at times), we might see this as a pair of blessings: not only are we blessed with the continuing presence of our parents, but we are also blessed with the opportunity to continue to observe the mitzvah of honoring them. With the blessing of long life comes added complexity for those of us with surviving elderly parents. How can we see to their needs while respecting their dignity? Perhaps we can find solace in our tradition which stresses the importance of seeing to the needs of those who brought us into this world.