A Little White Lie

Vayechi

Gen. 47:28 - 50:26

Précis: As the Book of Genesis comes to a close, Jacob lived (vayechi) in the land of Egypt for 17 years and dies after giving a final, poetic, individualized ethical testament to each of his sons. In a great funeral procession, Joseph, his brothers, and Pharaoh and his court bring Jacob’s body to Machpela to be buried. At the end of the parasha, Joseph dies after exacting a promise to bring his remains to the land of Israel as well.

Gen. 50:16 “Before his death your father left us this instruction: ‘Say to Joseph, ‘‘Forgive, I urge you, the offense and guilt of your brothers.’”

            This reading marks the ends the story of the Jews as a family/clan, since next week we commence the reading of the Book of Exodus (Sh’mot) with the Hebrew People as a nation (the Israelites).    

            The book of Bereshit as a whole has an explicit focus on familial rivalry. We see it vividly between Cain and Abel and again among Noah’s sons. Soon thereafter, we see the inability of family members to live side by side when Abraham and Lot are forced to dwell apart. The rivalry between Jacob and Esau (fomented by their parents, no less!) leads to death threats by Esau and to long years of exile for Jacob. The story of the fight for familial love – again with a background of parental favoritism - reaches an apex with the story of Joseph and his brothers.

            There are additional rivalries hinted at as well (between Rachel and Leah, between Isaac and Ishmael) about which the text is less specific, but which are sources for midrash by the Sages. Most of these rivalries result in what we might call a “cold peace.” The Joseph story, however, is different, as we see sibling rivalry overcome by repentance (t’shuvah).

            And yet, we see a potential for continued uncertainty when the brothers, fearful that Joseph will seek revenge after Jacob’s death, send Joseph a message cited above. As Rashi notes, Jacob never gave such a command to his children, at least in our received text. He suggests that the brothers lied for the sake of shalom bayit (literally, peace of the house). Rabbi Simeon ben Gamliel taught, "Great is peace, for even the tribal ancestors resorted to a fabrication in order to make peace between Joseph and themselves (Gen. Rabbah 100:8).” It has become a Jewish value to tell a minor falsehood for the sake of peace. The issue of whether it is ever appropriate to lie is one which my Shoresh Hebrew High School students find particularly fascinating. They are torn, for example, between Hillel’s advice to call all brides beautiful (whether they are or not), and Shamai’s instruction to refrain from comment on the beauty of a bride if it is lacking.

            In recent weeks, we have heard many in the political realm explain that facts are not always facts, and that truth is more elusive than we might believe it to be. It is arguable that the sons of Israel were finally fully reconciled because of a “white lie.” Is this the way forward for modern Jews, who are divided along so many religious and political lines, in Israel and in the Diaspora? Is it the way forward for modern Americans? When the “white lie” is used for shalom bayit, tradition implies that it is appropriate.

            However, there comes a time when even a “white lie” for the sake of shalom cannot be acceptable. When disunity and disrespect and antipathy towards different points of view are rife, the lies we tell ourselves and others get in the way of confronting the issues which divide us. As Kohelet tells us, “There is a time to be silent, and a time to speak.(Ecc. 3:7)” Now is a time to speak to create a dialogue for greater understanding, at home, across America, and among all of k’lal Yisrael.

Facing Fear

Vayishlach

Gen. 32:4 - 36:43

Précis: As he nears his return to his homeland, Jacob sent (vayishlach) messengers to Esau to ascertain Esau’s state of mind after their 20 year separation. While he awaits a reply, Jacob encounters an “adversary” (most assume an angel) with whom Jacob wrestles through the night. As dawn breaks, the adversary announces that Jacob’s name is to be changed to Israel: “He who wrestles with God.” On the following day, Esau approaches, and despite Jacob’s fears, there is a happy reunion.

            We then read the story of how a local prince rapes Dinah, Jacob’s daughter, and then asks to marry her. Jacob agrees on condition that all of the men of the city are circumcised. While the men are recovering, Jacob’s sons Simon and Levi attack the city and kill all of the inhabitants in revenge for the insult to their sister.

           Jacob soon travels to Beth-el (the site of his ladder dream), and on the way, Rachel gives birth to Benjamin and dies in childbirth. Thereafter, Isaac’s death is noted, as is his burial by Esau and Jacob. The parasha ends with a genealogy of Esau and his descendants.

Gen. 32:8 “Jacob was greatly frightened; in his anxiety, he divided the people with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps.”

            In his “Short, practical, relevant Weekly Dvar” (11/27/15) Shlomo Ressler poses the question of why Jacob was “greatly frightened.” After all, he had been promised by God that he, Jacob, would return safely to Canaan (Gen. 28:15). Does Jacob’s fear reflect a lack of trust in God’s promise?

            Ressler cites Abrabanel who states that fear is a not sign of weakness, but rather a part of being a human being. One who is afraid should not be judged harshly. After all, whom among us has never been afraid?

            For some in America today, there is real fear about what lies ahead for America and the world. The question is what do we do when we're afraid? Do we become immobilized, or do we gather ourselves to meet the challenges that lie ahead? Jacob’s great strength was that he was prepared and able to act despite his fear (which some would call the definition of heroism). What concrete steps can be taken by those of us who question America's way ahead as espioused by the incoming administration? I suggest that supporting organizations such as the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the Sierra Club is one important opportunity. Speaking out in “main stream” media as well as social media is another chance to act in the face of fear.

            Rav Nahman of Bratslav once said, "the whole world is a very narrow bridge, but the main thing is not to be afraid at all." Jacob’s actions teach us that when we are afraid, we have the opportunity to gather our strength and conquer our fears by confronting them. As Ressler suggests, “we won't act afraid, because we won't be afraid to act.”