Kindness

 Chaye Sarah

Gen. 23:1-25:18

 

Précis: The parasha begins with the counting the days of the life of Sarah (Chaye Sarah) and with her death. It continues with a detailed description of the purchase of the cave of Machpelah by Abraham for a family burial site. Abraham orders his servant to go to Abraham’s ancestral home to obtain a wife for Isaac, and after a series of fulfilled signs, including watering of his camels, the servant finds Rebecca. Rebecca returns with the servant; she and Isaac meet, fall in love at first sight, and become man and wife. The parasha ends with the death of Abraham, and his burial by Isaac and Ishmael in the family plot.

 

Gen. 24:17-20 “A servant ran toward her and said, 'Please, let me sip a little water from your jar.’ ‘Drink, my lord,’ she said, and she quickly lowered her jar upon her head and let him drink. When she had let him drink his fill, she said, ‘I will also draw for your camels, until they finish drinking.’ Quickly emptying her jar into the trough, she ran back to the well to draw water, and she drew for all his camels.”

 

Rabbi Stacey Rigler has written about the importance of kindness (chesed) in this week’s reading (10 Minutes of Torah, 11/14/22).  She notes that we often focus on Rebecca's kindness to the animals. But, she maintains, there is much more.

Kindness first requires that one be considerate, seeing another person, their circumstances, and their needs. Rebecca knew that not only the man but also the camels would need water.

Kindness requires an act of friendliness, an assumption of goodwill. Rebecca was not offended by the request from a stranger but assumed that he was in need and worked to help.

Kindness requires selflessness and generosity. Rebecca seeks no quid quo pro. Rigler cites Alan Morinis in his book Everyday Holiness: “Chesed involves acts that sustain the other…In the Jewish view, it is not enough to hold warm thoughts in our heart or to wish each other well. We are meant to offer real sustenance to one another... to qualify as chesed, these actions need to come out of kindness and no other motive."

We live in a time when acts of true chesed are needed more than ever. Thoughts and prayers are not enough.

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Just Show Up

 Vayera

Gen. 18:1-22:24         

 

Précis: In this week’s reading, we have almost too much narrative to consider. God “appeared” (vayera) to Abraham. Abraham shows hospitality to three strangers. They promise the birth of Isaac, overheard by Sarah (who laughs). God reveals His plans for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, and Abraham argues for its salvation for the sake of any innocents who might dwell there. The scene shifts to Sodom where Lot lives, and he and his family are rescued first from an unruly mob and then from the destruction of the city itself. Lot’s wife glances back and turns into the pillar of salt. His daughters, fearing that they are the last females alive, make Lot drunk and engage in sexual relations with him, later giving birth to founders of the tribes of Moab and Ammon (traditional adversaries of the Israelites).

Back with Abraham, Sarah conceives and gives birth to Isaac. She becomes unhappy with the continued presence of Ishmael and prevails upon Abraham to expel Ishmael and Hagar from the household, which he does (after being promised by God that Ishmael, too, will be the father of a great nation). Thereafter, the story continues with the attempted sacrifice of Isaac by Abraham, called “the Akedah” (the Binding of Isaac).

 

Gen. 18:1-3 “Adonai appeared to him at the terebinths of Mamre. And Abraham raised his eyes and saw, and behold, three men were standing before him. He saw, and he ran toward them from the tent flap and bowed to the ground.”

 

JTS Chancellor Ismar Schorsch has pointed out (JTS Distance Learning Project, 11/15/03) that the rabbis noted that the verb “appeared” (vayera) is here used in a very unusual way. In almost all other examples in our Bible when the verb is used in connection with God’s appearance, it is followed immediately by a verbal statement of direct address. (e.g., “God appeared and said…”) Here, there is only silence. In fact, it seems that Abraham is interrupting God to treat the three strangers.

            The usual explanation for God’s appearance is that God was coming to comfort Abraham following the painful circumcision at the conclusion of last week’s reading (from which we base the mitzvah of bikur cholim (caring for the ill).

            I’d like to add another point. Sometimes, silence is all that is needed to comfort another (a basis for the custom of being silent until spoken to when visiting a mourner). Sometimes, we need to merely show up. We live in a time when showing up is of paramount importance.