Real Courage

Vayeshev

Genesis 37:1 - 40:23

Précis: The story of Joseph begins with the words, “And Jacob dwelt (vayeshev) in the land of his father’s travels.” We learn that Joseph is Jacob’s favorite son. Joseph receives the famous coat of many colors, and dreams strange dreams and relates them to his brothers and father, creating additional concern (jealousy) on their part. The sons conspire to do away with Joseph, but before he dies, they sell him into slavery. Jacob is devastated when the sons present evidence of Joseph’s “death.” 

            We then have an intervening story about Judah. He marries off his first son to Tamar. The son soon dies, and, the next son (Onan) is married to the widow (“levirate marriage”) and also promptly dies. Judah is loath to offer the third son. The widow dresses as a harlot, seduces Judah, becomes pregnant, and reveals herself to Judah as a woman wronged. He acknowledges her as a rightful daughter.

            The scene shifts back to Joseph, who is now a servant in the household of Potiphar, an Egyptian official. Potiphar’s wife attempts to seduce Joseph but he refuses her advances. She accuses him of attempted rape and Joseph is tossed into prison. There, he meets jailed servants of Pharaoh, for whom he interprets dreams successfully. When the chief butler is restored to his post, he promises to “remember” Joseph, but the parasha ends with the words, “but he forgot him.”

38:6-26 “Judah got a wife for Er his first-born; her name was Tamar. But…God took his life. Then Judah said to Onan, ‘Join with your brother's wife…’ and God took his life also….  A long time afterward… Tamar…took off her widow’s garb… When Judah saw her, he took her for a harlot…So he…said, ‘Here, let me sleep with you…’  But she said, ‘You must leave a pledge until you have (paid).’ And he said, 'What pledge shall I give you?’ She replied, ‘Your seal and cord, and the staff which you carry.’ So he gave them to her…{She] sent this message to her father-in-law, ‘I am with child by the man to whom these belong.’ And she added, ‘Examine these: whose seal and cord and staff are these?’ Judah recognized them, and said, ‘She is more in the right than I, inasmuch as I did not give her to my  [third] son Shelah.’"

Rabbi Chaim Landau (MyJewishLearning.com, 12/12/11) asks why it was that the kings of Israel are descended from Judah, and not through Joseph’s offspring Menachem and Ephraim, or even through Reuvain, Jacob’s first born son.

            In these verses, Tamar assumes the dress of a prostitute and seduces her father-in-law Judah after the death of her two husbands. Judah succumbs to temptation. Joseph, you may recall, when propositioned by Potiphar’s wife, refused her advances. Judah gives in to temptation while Joseph resisted.  Earlier in the narrative, Judah suggests selling Joseph from the pit into which he had been cast to passing slavers. He is the leader of the brothers, but does not try to save Joseph and return him to their father. These hardly seem to be the actions of a proper leader, let alone the father of future kings.

            Given these faults, why did Judah’s descendants merit the kingship of Israel? The rabbinic literature suggests that a great leader is not one who is perfect, but rather is one who fails, repents, and then recovers. Midrash teaches that Judah’s admission of his relations with Tamar was received with blessings in Heaven, with the angels intoning "Blessed are you, Lord, who is gracious and forgives repeatedly" (a phrase which has been incorporated into the daily Amidah). One who truly repents has the courage to admit failings, and to emerge the stronger for it.

            We live in an age where leaders (congregational and political) rarely own up to their faults. From “I am not a crook” to ”no crime was committed” we have observed time and again a refusal by leaders to admit errors.  Great leaders demonstrate the courage that is needed to acknowledge when they have erred. This is the rabbinic explanation for Judah’s claim to royalty. This is the kind of courage for which we all need to strive.

Jacob & Esau, Hamas & Israel

Vayishlach

Genesis 32:4 - 36:43

Précis: As he nears his return to his homeland, Jacob sent (vayishlach) messengers to Esau to ascertain Esau’s state of mind after their 20+ year separation. While he awaits a reply, Jacob encounters an “adversary” (most assume an angel) with whom he wrestles through the night. As dawn breaks, the adversary announces that Jacob’s name is to be changed to Israel: “He who wrestles with God.” On the following day, Esau approaches, and despite Jacob’s fears, there is a happy reunion.

            We then read the story of how a local prince rapes Dinah, Jacob’s daughter, and then asks to marry her. Jacob agrees on condition that all of the men of the city are circumcised. While the men are recovering, Jacob’s sons Simon and Levi attack the city and kill all of the inhabitants in revenge for the insult to their sister.

            Jacob soon travels to Beth-el (the site of his ladder dream), and on the way, Rachel gives birth to Benjamin and dies following her labor. Thereafter, Isaac’s death is noted, as is his burial by Esau and Jacob. The parasha ends with a genealogy of Esau and his descendants.

Genesis 33:4   “And Esau ran to meet Jacob, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him; and they wept.”

            After decades of contention and separation, Jacob and Esau reconcile. They may not be close, but they have found a modus vivendi, a way to coexist. What has changed? How can these two, who have been at odds since birth, embrace and weep together?

            During childhood, they were rivals for their parent’s love and attention. They lusted for what the other possessed (Jacob wanted a birthright, Esau wanted Jacob’s porridge; we can safely assume that Esau longed for his mother’s approval with equal fervor to Jacob’s pursuit of a blessing from Isaac).  When they meet after a 20 year separation, they have each become men of substance, wealth, and power. They no longer seem to want what the other has. The ritual offering and refusal of gifts which follows their reunion is more than Middle Eastern niceties; they no longer desire what the other possesses. The sin of envy they shared long ago has been replaced by a new contentment. They understand the statement of Pirke Avot: "Who is rich? One who is happy with his portion."

            The story of Jacob and Esau is one about the power of reconciliation. Jacob’s fear that reconciliation was not possible evaporates in a mutual embrace and shared tears. 

            In recent weeks, we have seen another round of fighting between Hamas in Gaza and Israel. It’s not too far of a metaphor to compare the two to Esau and Jacob, since both sides claim Abraham as an ancestor. While Israel stands ready to reconcile as Jacob (Israel) was, Hamas is not able to come to terms with Israel in the way Esau did in our text. As PM Netanyahu was recently quoted, “If Hamas puts down their weapons, there will be peace; if Israel puts down its weapons, there will be no Israel.”

            On a more personal level, we often fear attempts to reconcile, perhaps because of another fear: the fear of being rejected once again. Yet, when we find the inner strength to ask for forgiveness from another, we may be surprised when our feelings are reciprocated by those we have wronged.