Tears

Mikketz

Gen. 41:1-44:17

Précis: At the end (mikketz) of two years of Joseph’s imprisonment, Pharaoh dreams of cows and ears of corn. The butler who had shared Joseph’s cell now remembers him and calls him from prison. Joseph predicts seven years of plenty, followed by seven years of famine. Pharaoh is so impressed that he appoints Joseph as his chief vizier and Joseph goes about storing grain during the times of plenty.

            Joseph marries Asenath and they have two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh. When the famine comes, Jacob sends his sons to Egypt to purchase food. Joseph has them brought in while he remains in cognito. Joseph accuses the brothers of spying, and sends them home after they leave one brother hostage and promise to return with their youngest brother, Benjamin. Upon their return, the brothers (including Benjamin) meet the still-unrevealed Joseph. Joseph has their bags filled not only with grain but also with the money used to purchase the grain and has a gold cup hidden in Benjamin’s belongings. When they are “caught” by Joseph’s men, they learn that whoever stole the cup would become Joseph’s slave, while the others return to their homeland. On this cliffhanger, the parasha ends.

Gen. 42:23-24 “They did not know that Joseph understood, for there was an interpreter between him and them. He turned away from them and wept.”

            Tears are a leitmotif in this week’s parasha. Joseph, disguised from his brothers, fights back his tears when he first meets them asking for food. He recognizes them at once, and speaks harshly towards them, “acting like a stranger” (Gen. 42:7). The brothers talk among themselves, unaware that Joseph understands their language. When he hears them lament the way they had treated him, he turns away and weeps.

When the brothers return with his full brother Benjamin, Joseph “was overcome with feeling toward his brother and was on the verge of tears; he went into a room and wept there” (Gen. 43:30). Did he weep because he did not want his brothers to recognize him, or because it was unseemly for a man in his position of power to display emption?

            By his tears, I suggest Joseph was lamenting his own troubled past, the depths of the gulf between himself and Benjamin, and the rage he was now overcoming with respect to his other brothers. After his tears, he reemerges and serves a meal, his emotions again under control.

The final denouement of course happens in next week’s reading, when he reveals himself to his brothers and sobs and cries (Gen.45:14-15). Reconciliation takes place with tears of joy. It is certainly possible that Joseph's tears represent his emotional growth. He has learned to overcome rage against his brothers and to form a renewed relationship with them.

Tears can result from rage and anger. Tears can result from mere sadness. And tears can result from the joy of reunion and the promise of better days to come.

This week, we celebrate the joyous holiday of Chanukah. If tears are to be shed, may they be joyous and hopeful.

But He Refused

Vayeshev

Gen. 37:1 - 40:23

Précis: The story of Joseph begins with the words, “And Jacob dwelt (vayeshev) in the land of his father’s travels.” We learn that Joseph is Jacob’s favorite son. Joseph receives the famous coat of many colors, and dreams strange dreams and relates them to his brothers and father, creating additional concern (jealousy) on their part. The sons conspire to do away with Joseph, but before he dies, they sell him into slavery. Jacob is devastated when the sons present evidence of Joseph’s “death.” 

            We then have an intervening story about Judah. He marries off his first son to Tamar. The son soon dies, and, the next son is married to the widow (“levirate marriage.”) The second son (Onan) dies, and Judah is loath to offer the third son. The widow dresses as a harlot, seduces Judah, becomes pregnant, and reveals herself to Judah as a woman wronged. He acknowledges her as a rightful daughter.

           The scene shifts back to Joseph, who is now a servant in the household of Potiphar, an Egyptian official. Potiphar’s wife attempts to seduce Joseph but he refuses her advances. She accuses him nonetheless of attempted rape, and Joseph is tossed into prison. There, he meets jailed servants of Pharaoh, for whom he interprets dreams successfully. When the chief butler is restored to his post, he promises to “remember” Joseph, but the parasha ends with the words, “but he forgot him.”

Gen. 39:7-8 “After a time, his master’s wife cast her eyes upon Joseph and said, ‘Lie with me.’ But he refused….”

            This parasha includes two stories of sexual impropriety: the failure of Judah to provide for his daughter-in-law (and her need to play the harlot), and this story of the false rape accusation in the cited verse.

            When Joseph refuses the advances of Potiphar’s wife, she grabs an article of his clothing, which she uses as “evidence” of rape, and Joseph goes to prison.

            While in terms of power the gender roles​ in this story​ are reversed from our present 

​“norm,” this episode has remarkable parallels to the current news cycle in particular, and to our society in general.

            A person of power coerces another towards improper sexual contact. Here, the individual refuses, and is punished for that refusal. Joseph not only loses his job, he goes to prison! What would his fellow servants of Potiphar think about that result? Would they decide to accept the abuse to save their jobs, or would they speak out and defend themselves?

            This is the issue which our society is attempting to deal with today. Sexual abuse and harassment have been present throughout human history as this story demonstrates. There is also no doubt that it has been wrong throughout human history as well. Joseph, who is not always portrayed in a positive light (his tattling on his brothers, his braggadocio, his games-playing with his brothers when he is in power, his failure to contact his mourning father, etc.) here stands up straight and strong, refusing the improper advances of his mistress. It is not only wrong for him to do what is demanded of him; it is also a violation of the trust which is owner Potiphar has placed in him. It must have been exceedingly difficult for Joseph to take this stand (a notion which the Rabbis suggest was not initially unequivocal).

            What we need to learn from this vignette is not only that those who are harassed and abused must come forward, but that the perpetrators must learn to avoid their sin. In more common terms, it is not harassed (mostly) women in our society who need to come forward; it is (largely) men in positions of authority (as employers, as teachers, as political leaders) who must learn that the authority they possess gives them no entitlement to harass or abuse those under their sway. We, as a society, must give no quarter to those who use their positions in such despicable ways.