Friday, June 19, 2009

Happy Father's Day!

While the Torah reading for this week is Sh'lach L'cha, I want to take a page from last week's reading (which included a discussion of the Menorah for the Tabernacle) because of a connection to Father's day, which the secular calendar tells me arrives this Sunday. And it's a bit more of a personal comment than usual.


My friend and former colleague Liz Hirsch told me about an interesting d’var torah she heard about the menorah. The menorah can be looked at in two very different ways: it can be viewed as a tree with roots going into the ground, and it can be seen as a tree with branches going upward.

Our observance of Father's Day can be connected to this essential Jewish icon, because fathers serve the same purpose as the menorah - they give us roots, and they point us the way ahead.

As I grow older, I often think about my Dad, who died in 1989. He wasn’t one to offer much advice (orders and directions, yes; advice, not so much). He was not a pontificator, although he was certainly opinionated. We could argue about sports, and we could REALLY argue about politics. He (and I) loved that interaction, even as we turned red in the face or slammed fists on the table.

On rare occasions, he made his point by deliberately NOT telling me what to do. One of the most exasperating experiences I ever had was when I had narrowed down my selection of colleges (where I had been accepted) to two, and I desperately wanted him to tell me which to select. He refused, saying that either would be fine.

It was much later that I realized that his refusal was a wonderful “teaching moment.” Like a menorah, my father had provided my roots, and now was pointing me forward, well aware that I would need to make critical choices throughout my life. Confident in the roots he had given me, he wanted me to take my own steps forward, even if I was to stumble. This was a gift beyond measure.

Shabbat Shalom, and Happy Father's Day.

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