Emotional Intelligence

Chayye Sarah

Genesis 23:1-25:18

Précis: The parasha begins with the counting of the life of Sarah (chayye Sarah) - and with her death. It continues with a detailed description of the purchase of the cave of Machpela by Abraham for a family burial site. Abraham orders his servant to go to Abraham’s ancestral home to obtain a wife for Isaac, and after a series of fulfilled signs, the servant finds Rebecca. Rebecca returns with the servant; she and Isaac meet, fall in love at first sight, and become man and wife.  The parasha ends with the death of Abraham, and his burial by Isaac and Ishmael in the family burial cave.

Genesis 23:1 “And the life of Sarah was a hundred and seven and twenty years; these were the days of the life of Sarah.

Rabbi Evan Moffic taught about the importance of temperament – “hishtavut hanefesh” in Reform Voices of Torah (11/9/09).It is usually defined as “equanimity, inner calmness, maintenance of an even keel.” According to commentary, Sarah, about whose death we read in this parasha, was a paragon of the concept.

The weekly reading begins by telling us that she lived for 127 years, and then seems to repeat itself by adding ”these were the days of the life of Sarah.” As we've noted often, every repetition offers a new opportunity for commentary. Rashi is quoted as saying that the repetition reminds us that all of Sarah’s years were for the good. But we know from the text that this is not self-evident. There were many “downs” in Sarah’s life: she had to leave her kin with Abraham to journey to a new land; she was endangered in Pharaoh’s court when Abraham passed her off as his “sister;” she went childless for decades; she dealt harshly with Hagar out of apparent jealousy; and finally, her beloved son was the object of the Akedah (whether she knew or not of this was a matter of midrash). Rashi’s comment means that despite these hardships, her character remained unaffected as she maintained “hishtavut hanefesh.”

This quality was greatly prized by commentators throughout the ages. As is so often the case, a traditional rabbinic observation has a modern corollary: today, we call it “emotional intelligence." We should be are aware of our feelings and emotions, but not ruled by them. The traditional understanding of Sarah’s character is a model for all of us in our dealings in the workplace and with our families. It is also a model for those of our political leaders who are faced with issues of the gravest concern in coming months.