Softness

Vayetze

Gen. 28:10-33:3

Précis: As Jacob travels towards the household of his uncle Laban, he dreams of a ladder to heaven, with angels ascending and descending. He vows to build a great House for God on the spot. Jacob meets and falls in love with Laban’s younger daughter, Rachel. Laban agrees to the match, provided that Jacob works for him for seven years. Laban switches the older daughter, Leah, for Rachel; Jacob works an additional seven years for Rachel’s hand. Jacob then works for Laban another six years, and acquires great wealth and flocks through shrewd husbandry. During the stay with Laban, most of the children of Jacob are born. At the conclusion of the parasha, after tense negotiations with Laban, Jacob leaves with his possessions and family.

Gen. 29:17 “Leah had soft eyes, but Rachel was of beautiful figure and form"

             Erica Brown, in her Weekly Jewish Wisdom column (5/23/13), notes that being called “soft” is quite derogatory in modern American society, implying a lack of appropriate aggression and assertiveness (especially among women and girls). “Soft” people are easy to use or manipulate; we take advantage of “soft” people. Or to use an up-to-the-minute example, there is a certain Presidential candidate for the Republican nomination who seems to delight in calling others “soft.”

            In our text, softness is compared (probably in a negative way) with beauty. This implies that there was something about Leah which made her less desirable than Rachel. And the story tells us that Jacob loved Rachel, but does not state the same about Leah. But the Sages tell us that Leah was a woman of gentle compassion, thoughtfulness, care and tenderness, and that her goodness was manifest by her numerous offspring. While assertiveness (such as displayed by Sarah) can be viewed as roughness or harshness in interpersonal dealings, softness implies warmth and care.

            Perhaps the text is talking about two different types of beauty, one internal and the other external. While Rachel had the good looks, Leah had the kind soul. Brown cites novelist Kurt Vonnegut, who said, "Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard.”

            In our highly competitive, dog-eat-dog world, perhaps there are times when we should emulate the softness of Leah. Given the events of the last few weeks, all I can say is "perhaps."