Why is it so bad to covet?

Yitro

Exodus 18:1 - 20:23

Précis:  Following last week’s trip through the Red Sea, Moses is reunited with his father-in-law Jethro (“Yitro”) and with his family. Yitro acknowledges God, gives wise advice to Moses about delegating responsibility, and Moses appoints assistants (judges). The Israelites come to the foot of Mount Sinai where, in the ultimate transcendental experience, Revelation takes place as the “Ten Utterances” (Commandments) are spoken to the People by the very Voice of God.

Ex. 20:14 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house: you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife... nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

            In Reform Voices of Torah (2/1/10) Rabbi Laura Geller suggests that of all of the Ten Commandments, this one may be the most problematic. She suggests that if we were going to rewrite it today, we might say, “You shall not visit a friend’s home and wish it were yours, or covet his new SUV.”
            The word “covet” is usually defined to “feel inordinate desire for what belongs to another.” While all of the other Commandments relate to actions, this is the one which relates to “feelings.” What is so terrible about wanting something we don’t have?

            Jewish tradition has much to say on the subject. One view (supported by Ramban) is that coveting is the equivalent of action because lusting leads to action (something Christian thinkers seem to have agreed with; some of us may recall the problems that Jimmy Carter ran into when he admitted “lusting in his heart”). If we covet another’s possession, the next step may be an attempt to seize it. Other commentators (e.g., Ibn Ezra) acknowledge that coveting is indeed a feeling, but not all such feelings are improper. For example, one is permitted to envy another’s success at performing mitzvot or studying Torah, for these are attributes which one should also be encouraged to do. 

            Perhaps as perplexing is the statement of the Sages that “to violate the tenth commandment is tantamount to violating all ten.” What is the rationale for this statement? Perhaps it is their belief that coveting leads to violating all of the others. You may want, and then steal, and then murder. Coveting also implies that one is the master of one’s fate, and that the first commandment to recognize God’s sovereignty is also violated when one covets.

             We covet when we compare ourselves to others. Why do they succeed when we don’t? Why do they have health when we don’t? All this leads to jealously and resentment. While jealousy, resentment, and covetousness are natural human emotions, perhaps we are better guided by the wisdom of Pirke Avot (4:1): "Who is rich? He who is grateful for what he has.”