Tough Love

Ki Tissa

Ex. 30:11-34:35

Précis: The parasha begins with a census of the people, accomplished by the collection of a half shekel. We then return to a description of Tabernacle items, including the basin, anointing oil, and incense. The holy work of building the Tabernacle is to be interrupted by Shabbat. Then we return to narrative. Moses is given the two tablets and he descends from Mount Sinai. There he sees the people worshipping the Golden Calf. The tablets are smashed and the evil doers are punished. Moses returns up the mountain, and we next have the articulation of the 13 Attributes of God. Moses carves a new set of tablets, and returns to the People, his face radiant.

Ex. 32:9-11 “Adonai said to Moses, ‘I see that this is a stiff-necked people. Now, let My anger blaze forth against them and destroy them, and make of you a great nation.’ But Moses implored Adonai his God, saying, ‘Let not your anger, Adonai, blaze forth against your people, whom You delivered from the land of Egypt with great power and a mighty hand.’”

            Shlomo Ressler (to see more of his weekly thoughts, go to weeklydvar@list.weeklydvar.com), writing in his Weekly D’var (3/4/15) cites Rav Aron Tendler, who explains that Moses here confronts his greatest challenge as leader of the Jewish people. The Israelites are threatened by God with extinction because of the sin of the Golden Calf, and Moses rises to defend them. Moses argues with God about the nature of humanity and the nature of God’s justice. As noted in  Berachot 32a, Moses argues that God Himself must accept partial blame, inasmuch as He endowed humans with free will. Since not even the most righteous person lives without sin, there must be the possibility of T’shuvah (repentance) or else God’s system of justice is flawed. God agrees that His “unqualified love” is the basis for His relationship with Israel.

            We sometimes think of God and Israel as the ultimate metaphor for the parent/child relationship, and in this context, the idea of “unqualified love” needs some further exegesis. Unqualified love does not mean that actions have no consequences; after all, Moses himself punishes those who were directly involved in the sin of the Golden Calf. Real, unqualified love means that one does what is in the interest of the loved one, even when it is painful for the parent or for the child. Some call this “tough love.” But “tough love,” if it is really needed and imposed, is at its core an expression of “unqualified” love.