Generations

Vayera

Gen. 18:1-22:24         

Précis: God “appeared” (vayera) to Abraham in the form of three travelers to whom Abraham shows hospitality. They promise the birth of Isaac, overheard by Sarah (who laughs). God reveals His plans for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, and Abraham argues for its salvation for the sake of any innocents who might dwell there. The scene shifts to Sodom where Lot lives, and he and his family are rescued first from an unruly mob and then from the destruction of the city itself. Lot’s wife glances back and turns into the pillar of salt. His daughters, fearing that they are the last females alive, make Lot drunk and engage in sexual relations with him, later giving birth to founders of the tribes of Moab and Ammon (traditional adversaries of the Israelites).

Back with Abraham, Sarah conceives and gives birth to Isaac. She becomes unhappy with the continued presence of Ishmael and prevails upon Abraham to expel Ishmael and Hagar from the household, which he does (after being promised by God that Ishmael, too, will be the father of a great nation). Thereafter, the story continues with the attempted sacrifice of Isaac by Abraham, called “the Akedah” (the Binding of Isaac).

Gen. 22:13 “Abraham lifted his eyes: he could now see a ram caught by its horns in a thicket. Abraham went and took the ram and offered it as a burnt offering in place of his son.”

One aspect of the Akedah story which bears discussion is the connection between parent and child, between father and son. As a father of two boys, this story has always had great resonance with me (and, perhaps, with them as well). The story contains clues that all is not as it appears at first reading, in which  it appears that Abraham is hiding his intent from Isaac. This has led to Rabbinic midrash suggesting that Isaac knew what would transpire and was a willing participant. Others suggest that he was naïve and clueless.

            We see that Isaac fails to return with his father at the story’s conclusion. The father and son never again speak to each other. Is this an important omission of the text, suggesting that there was an emotional break between the two as a result of this traumatic experience? If we assume Isaac knew what would transpire, what is the rationale for the separation? On the other hand, if he was not aware of what awaited him on top of Mount Moriah, Isaac had serious cause not to forgive his father for putting faith before love. What a traumatic experience!

            One challenge all parents face is maintaining a connection with children who have different experiences, different lives, and different expectations than we might have had for them. On one hand, this is a story of a father and son who barely communicate beforehand, but on the other hand are deeply connected in an important way. Even if we assume that Isaac was not aware of his fate, surely, he had the ability to keep his 100 year plus father from tying him up and offering him as a sacrifice. Isaac seems to have been a willing participant on some level, evidence of a sense of shared connection with his father. They belong to different generations, as do we and our offspring, but a connection was and therefore could be maintained. Abraham and Isaac walk together to the mountain, but leave separately. Something happened there, but what it was is not exactly clear. Nevertheless, a remnant of a connection is maintained, as exemplified in the next parasha, when Abraham sends his servant to find a bride for Isaac, and that Isaac will attend the burial of his father along with his half-brother Ishmael.

            All relationships face trials and trauma. How we react and maintain a connection is the key to the viability of families and the People of Israel.