Reconciliation

Vayishlach

Gen. 32:4 - 36:43

 

Précis: As he nears his return to his homeland, Jacob sent (vayishlach) messengers to Esau to ascertain Esau’s state of mind after their 20-year separation. While he awaits a reply, Jacob encounters an “adversary” (most assume an angel) with whom Jacob wrestles through the night. As dawn breaks, the adversary announces that Jacob’s name is to be changed to Israel: “He who wrestles with God.” On the following day, Esau approaches, and despite Jacob’s fears, there is a happy reunion.

            We then read the story of how a local prince rapes Dinah, Jacob’s daughter, and then asks to marry her. Jacob agrees on condition that all of the men of the city are circumcised. While the men are recovering, Jacob’s sons Simon and Levi attack the city and kill all of the inhabitants in revenge for the insult to their sister. Jacob soon travels to Beth-el (the site of his ladder dream), and on the way, Rachel gives birth to Benjamin and dies in childbirth. Thereafter, Isaac’s death is noted, as is his burial by Esau and Jacob. The parasha ends with a genealogy of Esau and his descendants.

 

Gen. 33:4 “And Esau ran to meet Jacob, and embraced him, and fell on his neck, and kissed him; and they wept.”

 

After Esau threatened to kill Jacob, Jacob ran away. He returns to meet his estranged brother decades later, now accompanied by wives and children, a wealthy man who has actually struggled with God and has had his name changed to Israel to reflect that encounter. Instead of anger, Esau reacts with tears and kisses. Is there peace at last between the brothers?

            The rabbis had difficulties imagining that Esau was in fact reconciled. The text gives them some support: the brothers go their separate ways, and never (at least in the text) meet again until they bury their father. Moreover, since our Tradition uses Esau as a proxy for Edom and Rome, two traditional foes of Israel, the rabbis infer that Esau’s kiss and tears was less than honest.

            I prefer to see the kiss and tears as truthfully offered. In this family history beset with sibling rivalry, even the most awful interactions can eventually be forgiven.  Although infrequent, many have observed long-term interpersonal relationships cursed with discord eventually resolve into renewed closeness. It is rare, but it is possible.

            This is true not only within families, but within nations as well. This thought was reinforced by news this week of new climate-related projects among Israel, Jordan, and the UAE. Perhaps that is the lesson for our times: reconciliation is difficult, but not impossible.