Respect

 Chayye Sarah

Gen. 23:1-25:18

 

Précis: The parasha begins with the counting the days of the life of Sarah (Chaye Sarah) and with her death. It continues with a detailed description of the purchase of the cave of Machpela by Abraham for a family burial site. Abraham orders his servant to go to Abraham’s ancestral home to obtain a wife for Isaac, and after a series of fulfilled signs, the servant finds Rebecca. Rebecca returns with the servant; she and Isaac meet, fall in love at first sight, and become man and wife. The parasha ends with the death of Abraham, and his burial by Isaac and Ishmael in the family plot.

 

Gen. 24:1-10 “Abraham said to his servant, the elder of his house, that ruled over all he had...that ​‘You shall not take a wife for my son from among the daughters of Canaan, where I dwell, but you shall go to my country, and my kindred, and take a wife for my son Isaac.’ ... And his servant swore to him concerning the matter.”

My friend, Shlomo Ressler, has written beautifully on this particular verse (Weekly D’var, 11/12/14). He notes that Abraham instructs his servant to find a wife for Isaac in his homeland. Why does Abraham prefer a wife from his birthplace for his son Isaac rather than a woman from Canaan? Both were places of idolatry, and Abraham and Isaac were living in Canaan. Would it not have been easier to find a wife nearby?

       Ressler cites Rabbenu Nissim who provides an answer. In Canaan, people mistreated each other. In Abraham’s birthplace, they may have sinned against God (through idol worship), but nevertheless there was respect and love between people. Abraham saw that people in his homeland observed Derech Eretz (respect). And it is respect that is a prerequisite to any lasting relationship​ ​between people.

Welcome the stranger

 Vayera

Gen. 18:1-22:24         

 

Précis: God “appeared” (vayera) to Abraham in the form of three travelers to whom Abraham shows hospitality. They promise the birth of Isaac, overheard by Sarah (who laughs). God reveals His plans for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, and Abraham argues for its salvation for the sake of any innocents who might dwell there. The scene shifts to Sodom where Lot lives, and he and his family are rescued first from an unruly mob and then from the destruction of the city itself. Lot’s wife glances back and turns into the pillar of salt. His daughters, fearing that they are the last females alive, make Lot drunk and engage in sexual relations with him, later giving birth to founders of the tribes of Moab and Ammon (traditional adversaries of the Israelites).

Back with Abraham, Sarah conceives and gives birth to Isaac. She becomes unhappy with the continued presence of Ishmael and prevails upon Abraham to expel Ishmael and Hagar from the household, which he does (after being promised by God that Ishmael, too, will be the father of a great nation). Thereafter, the story continues with the attempted sacrifice of Isaac by Abraham, called “the Akedah” (the Binding of Isaac).

 

Gen. 18:1-3 “Adonai appeared to him at the terebinths of Mamre. And Abraham raised his eyes and saw, and behold, three men were standing before him. He saw, and he ran toward them from the tent flap and bowed to the ground.”

 

Rabbi Kerry M. Olitzky suggests that if people don't feel comfortable in the community, they won't stay long enough to enjoy its richness. (MyJewishLearning.com, 11/4/14).

            Abraham espies 3 “men” (who are perhaps angels) and rushes off to provide hospitality, even though it is only a few days following his own circumcision. After they are fed a rich repast (far more than he had promised), he walks with them as they set out for Sodom.

            Olitzky states that welcoming of strangers should be our model for what it takes to make people feel welcome in our communities, in our homes, congregations and in our communal organizations. Abraham didn't delay, but rushed out to greet the strangers.

            Our tradition informs us that the Torah text does not waste words: they are there  to provide details. Here, the moral lesson is making sure that our guests are made comfortable. However, making guests comfortable is not the end of our task. Unless we continue to engage them, they may not be with us long enough to truly become part of our families and our communities.